(This number, sung in the women's intimate wear department, is self-explanatory).
All through the ages of humankind,
Brassiere-makers tended to view mankind
From the earliest dawn,
As a sort of a pawn
Ensnared by the mystries of womankind.
They mystery part wasn't really true
When Eva and history still were new -
But with each passing age,
They have entered a page
That points up the magic a bra can do.
The hist'ry and myst'ry books take on a big leaf
When the czars of the bras start promoting the fig leaf.
Since they got the whimsy
To cover her charms,
And fastened a flimsy
Up under her arms.
They've changed large to small
And small to large -
The deadliest kind of a camouflage.
They've made figure beauty a thing of the dark -
They've made figure beauty a quest-shon mark!
I sing the ballad of the bra,
The ballad of the Bali bra,
The by-golly bra.
Each bra a bra of highest cali-bra -
The Flexi-bra -
The sexy bra -
The south-of-the-border Mexi-bra.
The Mardi bra - the party bra -
The "loves of Andy Hardy" bra.
Which divide themselves specifically a follows:
The Shakespeare bra - (Chord)
"Much ado over nothing."
The Kipling bra - (Chord)
"Never the twain shall meet!"
The Saucer bra - (Chord)
For the woman who has lived too long in clover,
And finds that now, her cup runneth over.
What good if Cupid's aim is straight,
You'll find his tiny arrow cannot penetrate
The network of a highly complicated
Through all the abra -
And the cadabra -
Of an abara-cadabara-ssiere.